When put into a situation that we didn’t choose, it’s not uncommon to feel negative and resentful. When you spend so much time and energy caring for you loved one, it’s natural to experience caregiver resentment – no matter how much you love or care about them. For example, you might resent the overall situation, their illness, certain behaviors, unhelpful family members, or unsupportive friends. We might want to avoid or suppress these negative feelings, but if they’re not addressed, they can significantly increase caregiver stress.Caregiving tasks, responsibilities, and stress levels tend to increase over time. Many people don’t even notice until they get overwhelmed, burned out, or develop health issues. That’s why it’s necessary to take a step back once in a while and reassess the caregiving situation and notice how things have been changing over time. You might realize that you’ve added more and more to your to do list. Every additional responsibility and task takes up valuable time and energy and takes a toll on your mental and physical health. Or maybe the level of care that your loved one needs now has increased to the point where it’s nearly too much for one person to handle. Or, things could still be manageable, but you realize that you could use help with specific tasks like meals, housekeeping, or home maintenance.Getting help is important for sustaining long-term caregiving and preserving your own health and well-being. If you can get help from the people that you think should be helping, that’s a wonderful situation to be in. If that isn’t possible, be open to getting help from other sources. You could ask a friend to make you a couple of meals that you could keep in the freezer. People are often willing to help when asked, so don’t be shy. There might be tasks that they could do that wouldn’t take them too much effort but would be a big help to you.When you are feeling upset or angry, it helps to notice and identify what is causing or contributing to negative feelings so you can take steps to address it. For example, sometimes we get so caught up in our loved one’s needs that we forget our own very basic needs like drinking water and eating healthy meals. When that happens, it’s no surprise that we feel extra stressed, negative and resentful. Similarly, if you are exhausted, it ...
