Talking with parents about sensitive subjects like aging and necessary lifestyle changes can be tricky. It can be frustrating and even frightening when you’re trying to communicate something important to your aging parents and they won’t listen to or accept what you are saying. Adult children and their aging parents may struggle as age, illness, or physical challenges require a change in the parent’s living circumstances. Self-sufficient adults who raised families, ran businesses and households, now face being told they can no longer live the life they spent a lifetime building in the way they want. It’s a tough sell on a good day. But there are ways to communicate with an aging parent that will make it easier to address tough life topics and important decisions. To make those conversations more successful, here are some tips for talking with an aging parent and or someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia:• Your parents are adults, treat them that way. First and foremost, even though you may think your parents are acting as stubborn as young children, they are not children. They are adults and any conversation you have with them needs to come from a place of respect and consideration. Don’t talk at your parent. Talk to them.• It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Actually, sometimes it is what you are saying. “Mom, I don’t think you should be driving anymore” is probably not going to sit well in even the softest, sweetest tones. But tone does matter. Anyone who feels yelled at or bullied will often back away from the conversation and shut down communication. Take a careful look at how you’re communicating because that may be at the core of why your parents are not listening to you.• It’s not you, it’s me. One effective way to get an aging parent to listen is to make it about you. Explaining to your mom that you can’t sleep at night because you’re so worried about her getting into a car accident is different than saying “You can’t see and you’re going to get yourself killed, or worse - kill someone else. No more driving.” Many aging parents’ wore fear is of becoming a burden to their families. It fuels much of the resistance to getting help in their later years. Honestly explaining how their unwillingness to listen to you is causing that dreaded burden can go ...
