Many caregivers find it challenging to cope when their loved one has Alzheimer’s and fear of being alone. When a person with Alzheimer’s disease or dementia doesn’t want you out of their sight, this behavior is called shadowing. Their fear can cause them to follow you around the house so you’re constantly in their sight. They might even get upset if you go to the bathroom or take the trash out. This behavior can also make it very difficult for you to leave the house, they might cry, become angry or mean, or repeatedly ask where you are.Experts suggest that Alzheimer’s or dementia shadowing happens because the damage in their brain has caused them to make you the center of their world. They are not doing it purposely to be difficult or to cause trouble. They follow you closely to reassure themselves that you are still there. You are their lifeline and connection to the outside world. You care and provide for them and keep them safe from anything strange or confusing. And when they can’t see or touch you, they can get scared and anxious. Even if you have never done anything that would make them think you would abandon them, they may become paranoid that you will leave and never come back. The fear isn’t caused by anything you have done. It is yet another challenge of living with dementia.Suggestions to reduce shadowing: 1. Include other trusted people. One of the bet ways to hep your loved one feel safe and secure even if you are not there is to expand their world to include one or two more people. This needs to be done slowly so your loved one can grow to trust and rely on the “new” people and feel comfortable enough to be alone with them while you get some much needed time away.2. Involve them in repetitive, soothing activities when you need to step away. Sometimes you just need time to do chores in the house without someone (literally) breathing down your neck. When this happens, ask your loved one to “help” you and give them a soothing, repetitive task to keep them occupied and take their mind off their fear. For example, if you need to cook dinner, ask them to sit at the kitchen table and sort a pile of forks and spoons, fold hand towels, or organize the kitchen junk drawer.
