Twila Doucet Caregiver Coordinator LTCA of Enid Area Agency on AgingThe prospect of raising grandchildren is bound to trigger a range of emotions. Positive emotions, like the love you feel for your grandchildren, the joy in seeing them learn and grow, and relief at giving them a stable environment, are easy to acknowledge. It’s more difficult to admit to feelings such as resentment, guilt, or fear.It’s important to acknowledge and accept what you’re feeling, both positive or negative. Don’t beat yourself up over your doubts and misgivings. It’s only natural to feel some ambivalence about childrearing at a time when you expected your responsibilities to be dwindling. These feelings don’t mean that you don’t love your grandchildren.If you’ve been used to the occasional visit from a grandchild, being back in the saddle full time can feel stressful and overwhelming. You may worry about how you will handle the additional responsibilities and what will happen to the grandkids if something happens to you.You may feel anger or resentment toward the grandchild’s parents for leaving you with the responsibility of caring for their child. Or you might be resentful of other friends who are enjoying the retirement you once envisioned.You may feel guilty and responsible for your child’s failures as a parent, second-guessing and regretting your own mistakes when you were first parenting.There are many losses that come with taking in your grandchildren, including the loss of your independence and the easier role of “grandparent,” rather than the primary caregiver. You may also be grieving for your child and the difficulties that have led to this situation.Remember that while you may not have the energy you did when you were younger, you do have the wisdom that only comes with experience-an advantage that can make a huge difference in your grandchild’s life. Unlike first-time parents, you’ve done this before and learned from your mistakes. Don’t underestimate what you have to offer!You probably weren’t expecting to be raising kids again at this stage in your life. At times, the physical, emotional, and financial demands may feel overwhelming. That’s why it’s vitally important that you take care of yourself and get the support you need. When you’re preoccupied with the daily demands of raising grandchildren, it’s easy to let your own needs fall by the wayside. But taking care of yourself is a necessity, not a luxury. You can’t be a good caretaker when ...
