...“The State of Illinois” A few weeks before Halloween and many years ago, when I was still married to my former husband, he and I and a couple we knew all decided we would celebrate Halloween dressed as the Midwest.At the time, it seemed like a clever idea. I was from Minnesota, my former husband was from Wisconsin, our friend, Becky, was from Iowa, and her husband, John, was from Illinois. We were all in our early twenties, all living in Oregon, and, as we imagined ourselves dressed as our home states, it seemed like the best idea ever.We were no longer all living in the same city. And we didn’t see Becky and John again until Halloween. Honestly, I forgot all about the idea. I had time on my hands and so I designed and sewed elaborate costumes. I went as Medusa, with posable snakes bobbing up and down on my head. My former husband was Poseidon; he had a staff wrapped in fishing net and filled with seashells, and a crown on his head that lit up in the dark. Before LEDs, this was an accomplishment.I was rather proud of our costumes, and we went to meet John and Becky. Becky was costumed as a striking geisha, and John arrived… dressed as the State of Illinois.“I thought we were going as the Midwest!” John complained. I had so completely forgotten about the idea that I was startled to see John outfitted in an enormous sheet of bright yellow corrugated cardboard shaped like the Land of Lincoln, his face popping out somewhere near Peoria.I couldn’t feel too guilty if his own wife had not alerted him to a change in plans. It struck me that this did not bode well for the marriage (and, in fact, they were divorced a short while later). But John was stuck as the sole representative of the Midwest, and he was mightily embarrassed as we headed out to enjoy Halloween.You can probably guess what happened next. John was the hit of the evening. There were an astounding number of Illinois transplants in this small Oregon town, and every single one felt a special bond with John, who was, by nature, a shy and bookish guy. Slightly inebriated women came flying at him from across the street.“Illinois! It’s Illinois!” they screamed, as if he was a visiting rock star.They scrutinized the carefully detailed Illinois ...
